Facing death, finding hope.
A framework of hope to help you navigate the death of a loved one.
“The test results are back. It’s serious.”
My older brother kept talking, telling me his test results, but I’d fallen to the ground. As I lay there feebly holding my cell phone up to my ear, the remainder of the conversation was a haze. I heard something about late-term stage four and spreading. My brother had been diagnosed with an incurable illness that would require radical treatment simply to try to prolong his life.
It hurts to think of what my brother had to endure. Brain radiation. Surgery. The dark shadow of death stretched over his future. He had to wrestle with faith and the big questions of life, not as some kind of academic debate, but as a tragic daily reality.
My brother passed away after a brave 5-year battle. His death rocked our family.
Facing Your Own Challenges: How Do I Deal with Death?
Perhaps you are also facing a major health challenge in your life that you can’t see a way out of. It may feel like dark clouds have appeared on the horizon, and they’ve set in for a long, cold winter.
Like me, perhaps you’ve asked the questions… “Does God really care? Why did this happen? Can anything good possibly come from this? How do I deal with death?”
Download the free pdf devotional series
Unlock the ‘The Tide-Turning Power of Hope’ as you deal with the death of a loved one.
Finding Inspiration in Job's Story of Death and Hope
It was through asking these questions that I was inspired by the story of a man named Job. He experienced devastating tragedies in his life. The death of his children, his business wiped out, his own health decimated. Yet, he exercised a form of hope so counterintuitive to his pain…
The Metaphor of Hope Amidst Death
The closer I looked, the more I saw the story of Job as an unsolved puzzle. In some ways, Job’s story is dark, but it is also highly inspiring. But what really captured me was Job’s use of a simple metaphor: of hope being like a tree that is cut down but then springs back to life at the scent of water.
“For there is hope for a tree,
if it be cut down, that it will sprout again,
and that its shoots will not cease.
Though its root grow old in the earth,
and its stump die in the soil,
yet at the scent of water it will bud
and put out branches like a young plant.”
Transforming Pain and Death into Purpose
Before the death of my brother, he told me that he is grateful for what it brought to his life. The suffering and pain—he said was a type of gift. It’s not that the illness was a gift. No. The gift was the profound inner transformation he endured—one so rich and valuable that it completely changed his vantage point on life, death, work, and parenting. I’m so inspired by his choice in how to deal with death and instead to forge purpose from pain.
Discovering Eucatastrophe: The Good in Death
I wanted to explore this more. So I spent many months searching for a word that shows how good can come from pain, life from death. When I couldn’t find an English word, I turned to other languages. It was in the writings of J.R.R. Tolkien that I discovered a word with the right amount of tension that my brother had described.
Eucatastrophe.
Eucatastrophe is a compounding of the word ‘catastrophe’ with the Greek prefix eu-, meaning good. A good catastrophe? Immediately I bristled at this, after all, the words good and catastrophe are seldom put together, being on opposing ends of the human experience. Death does not seem ‘good’.
I’m certainly not for one moment suggesting that tragedy, death, failure, hurt, or pain are good in and of itself. But is it possible that, in the darkest moments of life, the green sprouts of new life and growth that Job once described can develop? Isn’t that the whole idea of hope? That when life hits its lowest point, this special gift of hope emerges in its most potent form, enabling us to lift our eyes once more to the horizon? Tolkien was describing the version of hope I am talking about—at the point of deepest pain is the start of the greatest good.
“The Resurrection was the greatest ‘eucatastrophe’ possible in the greatest Fairy Story — and produces that essential emotion: Christian joy which produces tears because it is qualitatively so like sorrow, because it comes from those places where Joy and Sorrow are at one, reconciled...”
The true, gritty authentic hope Job described has a symbiotic relationship with hardship. A eucatastrophe can wrap its fingers around pain in one hand and grasp hold of potential in the other, wrestling the two together.
Download the free pdf devotional series
Unlock the ‘The Tide-Turning Power of Hope’ as you deal with the death of a loved one.
Embracing Eucatastrophe: Growth Through Death
The better we can understand this, the more likely we are to prevent fear, pessimism, and a sense of helplessness from taking over our minds in the face of tragedy or death. Surprisingly and counterintuitively, real hope is found only at the center of life’s challenges. A conversation on hope only exists if the voices of crises and challenges have a seat at the same table. In fact, when Job was going through the agony of the death of his family and loss of his livelihood, he likened his life to gold being refined and purified in a furnace, for fire does not destroy the gold—it reveals the value (Job 23:10).
Job saw this as a picture of the eucatastrophe he was experiencing. We often view hope and pain, life and death at opposite ends of the human spectrum—much in the same vein as we do faith and doubt. I’ve discovered that faith and doubt are not polar opposites but rather close relatives. Similarly, it is the existence of pain that allows hope to express itself.
“When troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing”
James and Tolkien are saying the same thing. Tolkien calls it a eucatastrophe—a good tragedy—and James says troubles are an opportunity because they enable us to grow.
Hope lives in the presence, not the absence, of suffering and crises. So, even when you feel hopeless, you are closer to the life-saving virtue of hope than you realize.
The Universal Need for Hope After Death
Job was not afraid to ask the big questions of life. When his life was hit with dark tragedy, he asked, “Where then is my hope? Can anyone find it?” (Job 17:15). You may be in a similar place in your own journey right now, asking if any hope is available. I think Job broke the version of hope that is reliant on every circumstance in life being perfect and pain-free. Outcome-based hope is the fantasy of a life without troubles. What Job lost was real. It was irreplaceable. But Job sketched a new picture of hope—a hope made for moments when circumstances don’t improve.
Hope crosses cultures and nations. It is sought by the rich and the poor, by the young and the old. Every person on earth needs hope. Perhaps, right now, you are trying to survive the death of a loved one or a serious illness. The human soul cannot live without hope. It can thrive neither on cliché hope nor on the abandonment of all hope.
It needs real hope.
And real hope, when defined and practiced, is more powerful than I ever imagined.
Download the free pdf devotional series
Unlock the ‘The Tide-Turning Power of Hope’ as you deal with the death of a loved one.
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Coming to terms with the inevitability of death starts with understanding and accepting that it is a natural part of life. Death can remind us of the preciousness of our time. Reflect on the idea that our lives are brief, akin to the width of our hands or the duration of a single breath. This perspective can help us live more meaningfully, focusing on what truly matters and finding peace in the knowledge that our story doesn't end with death but continues into eternity.
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Dealing with the death of a loved one involves both acknowledging your grief and finding hope beyond your immediate circumstances. Remember there is hope and victory ahead. Engage in activities that honor the memory of your loved one, seek support from friends and community, and consider professional counseling if needed. Reflect on the eternal hope that gives new context to pain and loss, reassuring you that sorrow is not the final chapter.
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Maintaining hope in the face of death involves shifting your focus from temporary, earthly challenges to a broader, eternal perspective. The Bible teaches that hope has its origins in the eternal paradise of Eden and its fulfillment in the promise of heaven. By synchronizing your personal perspective with this eternal clock, you can see beyond the current hardships and recognize that there is a greater plan and a future filled with joy and wholeness. This eternal mindset provides resilience and a renewed sense of purpose.
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Faith plays a crucial role in dealing with death and finding hope. Believing in the promise of a future paradise, as symbolized by the onyx stone from Eden, can provide a powerful source of comfort and strength. The ultimate hope found in Jesus, who overcame the world, offers peace and assurance that transcends earthly troubles. Faith invites you to trust in God's plan, knowing that every tear will be wiped away and that your life has a meaningful and hopeful destination.
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Helping others who are struggling with the concept of death involves offering both practical support and a message of hope. Share the eternal perspective that can bring comfort in times of loss, emphasizing that our troubles are momentary compared to the eternal glory that awaits. Encourage them to hold onto hope, even in the midst of pain, by reminding them of the promise of a future paradise where there is no sorrow or death. Offer a listening ear, share uplifting resources, and be a consistent presence in their lives as they navigate their grief.
